Lonesome Trekkie Discovers Strange New World of Love
(This as told by essay omits names and contains fictionalized elements. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.)
Some people find it especially challenging to realize their dreams.
I always hoped to spend my life following my passion: Star Trek! I fell in love with the original series when attending high school.
Then I learned about newer shows in the franchise: Discovery, Strange New Worlds and Picard. Eventually I became hooked on the older shows: Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager.
But paying the bills meant working at a local big box store in St. Petersburg, Florida instead. During this time, I happened to sell some of my Star Trek collectibles online. Then it hit me!
I set up a website and started my own business – and my life changed! You can do it too!
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Selling Star Trek Collectibles
My online store began to take off in a big way. I sold action figures from the original series – and also from The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Enterprise.
I sold miniature replicas of the Enterprise from the original series, The Next Generation and the Star Trek movies. I sold miniatures of the Romulan Bird of Prey from the original series and the Romulan Warbird from Next Generation – as well as the Klingon D7 battlecruiser.
Then I sold replicas of phasers, communicators and tricorders from the original series and The Next Generation. Never mind the mugs, T-shirts, books and more also sold.
I made enough to quit my job at the big box and focus on my business full-time. But I still knew something was missing. And soon I realized what that something was.
A Brush With Destiny
While visiting a Star Trek convention in Orlando, I met her. She introduced herself as T’Lan, a beautiful Vulcan science officer of the starship Chakrabarty. But I soon learned her real name was Jennifer and she lived in Tampa.
She also appeared at conventions and Cosplay events as Thureshan ch’Shrinah, a member of the Andorian Imperial Guard and as – my personal favorite – a Kanutu woman from the original series episode, “A Private Little War”.
Though she seemed into me, I’ve never been great at connecting with women. Despite being dressed as a Starfleet admiral at the time, couldn’t seem to take (ahem) command of the situation.
Later she texted me and asked me if I wanted to hang out. But the way she said it? “How about getting together later for an away mission?”
Well, I knew what that meant! But now I needed a way to take advantage of the opportunity!
Give her a night she won't forget!
Doing Some Research
Just as the crew of the Enterprise do when they get into trouble, I decided to consult the computer. In this case, my trusty laptop.
There I found quite a bit of information about – er – Vulcan mating rituals? Well, you know what I mean!
For the uninitiated, the Internet proves a great place to search for critical data when one plans to explore – ahem – strange new worlds.
For me, this represented an incredible adventure, of course, but I hoped it would not be the final frontier.
Armed with valuable information, I felt confident to boldly go and arrived at Jennifer’s apartment later that evening.
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Beaming Down
She answered the door wearing a pair of pointed ears – and nothing else!
Needless to say, as soon as I saw her my transporter was energized. And I knew there would be two to beam down tonight.
I went inside and before long we both found ourselves in the pon farr, the “blood fever.”
Everything seems like a blur. I told her I hoped I would not prove a disappointment. But she assured me I was going “where no man has gone before.”
Before long we passed Warp 7. I heard her order shields up and before long I fired my phasers.
It was a great night!
How to keep her coming back for more!
Back to the Ship
She now serves as my permanent first officer and never leaves my side.
We sit together in my apartment while I load photos of my latest action figures to my website. Or we travel to a local convention or Comicon.
My bridge doesn’t feel as lonely anymore and space seems a bit less vast.
For others like me, I suggest you consider an away mission of your own. Perhaps discover an alien lifeform you can love.
How to find a lover whenever you need one!
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Lisa Polermo lives in Pensacola, Florida, and has seen every episode of the original Star Trek series at least five times but prefers Battlestar Galactica to Star Wars.
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